How to Lose Your Manager in 10 Days

Corporate cliches, like any cliche, should never be used. But you know what’s worse about corporate cliches, you have to hear them all the time, at a loud volume, from your manager that you don’t even like. Let’s call your manager Mike. Mike takes his job way too seriously, he always calls you out in front of your CEO when you don’t do something perfectly, and he has never taken one day of vacation in ten years. Mike shows up to every company gathering early, and complains that the pasta salad you brought isn’t chilled enough. You don’t even know who likes cold pasta anyway since you sure as hell didn’t make it yourself, and you’re just praying that Mike doesn’t say too much to your new boyfriend, if you even have a boyfriend by the end of the event. Well you know what’s the worst thing about Mike? I’ll give you a hint, it’s not his food preferences of lack of social skills … it’s his cliche sayings, his “corporate cliches” if you will.

Mike starts every call with a client by saying, “well at a high level..” he responds to every important question you have with, “let’s circle back” or “I’ll loop you in.” No, Mike, don’t do anything with me and round shapes. You are SO not hip. When mike disapproves of the work that he specifically requested from, he sends you “back to the drawing board” or “square one.” You want to know where you don’t want to go, Mike, there. But don’t worry, when you’re on ridiculous deadlines, he doesn’t tell you to go places, rather, he suggests you “hammer it out” or “move the needle.” Thank you for the encouragement, Mike… what makes these expressions so bad is that some of them really don’t make sense from a literal standpoint. Besides that, they are so overused. Just because your grandmother said them in her day, and hasn’t updated her jargon at the ripe age of 91, does not mean that it’s okay to take this terminology to the office place.

So, to help save what is left to be cultivated in the corporate world, we have made a game, Corporate Cliche Bingo. Every time someone says one one of these awful phrases, everyone else gets to fill in that square, until someone fills in 5 squares in a row, AKA BINGO. Maybe up the ante, a few drinks never hurt anyone. When Mike finally closes his mouth, or runs his wallet dry, you’ll have us to thank.

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